Wondering How To Be Normal? You're Asking The Wrong Question.

Happy Sunday everyone,

Did you know that imposter syndrome affects approximately 70% of people at some point in their lives?

That feeling of being a fraud despite evidence of success is remarkably universal, proving that questioning whether you belong is actually one of the most normal human experiences possible.

In today’s email:

1. Can a person be normal? And why we doubt ourselves

2. How to fit in and why it’s not the answer you’re expecting

POWER SURGE

How To Be Normal

We all remember a time at a social gathering when you're nodding along to a conversation about mortgage rates or the latest TV show everyone's watching, and the interaction feels a little… off?

Maybe you're just not interested in the topic, maybe your social battery is empty, or maybe… you’re being weird...

Maybe you’ve heard a little voice whispering in your head asking if you were doing this whole socialising thing correctly.

This thought is an entirely incorrect thought driven by anxiety, and it makes people do all kinds of things.

I’m sure with 7 billion people out there at least someone has snuck off to the bathroom and googled "how to be more normal" at a birthday party.

After all, we humans are social creatures and those of us expelled from the tribe had pretty poor odds of passing on our genes to the next generation.

I was a pretty anxious teenager and I used to have these thoughts all the time.

As I’ve grown older and more curious I’ve concluded that the elusive "normal" we sometimes chase doesn't exist.

Here’s How To Fit In

“Normal” is a mirage built on shifting sands that warps depending on who you're with, where you are, and countless other factors.

Normal to a raver in Berlin is not normal to a businessman in New York

I remember forcing myself to care about topics that bored me because they seemed like what “normal people” discussed.

The irony is that the more you tried to fit this imaginary mould of normalcy, the less authentic your connections became.

Normal doesn’t even exist! If you’re looking for the average guy, at the average weight, with average income, height, finger length, etc, - you’ll never find him.

Everyone is unique.

The turning point came when I stopped asking "how to be more normal" and started focusing on genuine curiosity – both about my own interests and about other people's.

People aren't looking for you to fit some predetermined template. They're looking for something much simpler: authentic engagement.

The people who seem the most comfortable in social situations aren't necessarily better at being "normal" – they're just better at being themselves.

This doesn't mean you need to wear your quirks like a badge or dismiss social norms entirely. It just means recognizing that occasional feelings of not fitting in perfectly are universal experiences, not personal failings.

Everyone sometimes wonders if they're doing it right.

Our goal isn't to connect with everyone but to connect meaningfully with the right people.

So the next time you catch yourself googling "why do I feel out of place" after a social interaction, remember that you're experiencing something fundamentally human.

The path to feeling more comfortable isn't through becoming more "normal" – it's through becoming more comfortable with the natural fluctuations of social confidence we all experience.

Thank you for reading!

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