If you don't put yourself first, no one will.

Table of Contents

• Why society rewards self-sacrifice

• Overcoming the guilt when prioritizing yourself

• How to put yourself first

  • Identify what matters to you

  • Setting boundaries

Always putting others first doesn’t make you a hero; it makes you invisible. Over time, you forget where your needs end and others’ begin. This mindset leads to exhaustion, chronic stress, and an overwhelming sense of unfulfillment.

What would you do differently if saying “yes” to someone else, meant saying “no” to yourself?

What happens to the book you wanted to write, the skills you hoped to develop, or the business you dreamed of starting? They gather dust in the corner of your mind labelled “someday.”

And ironically, your relationships—the ones you sacrifice so much for—often suffer the most.

Resentment builds, and people grow to expect your endless availability.

Why society rewards self-sacrifice

We didn’t create this mindset alone. Popular media glorifies the selfless hero, reinforcing the idea that goodness means putting others first.

From a young age, women are praised for being accommodating and criticized for prioritizing themselves. Men are pressured to provide, often feeling guilty for meeting their own needs.

Workplace culture doesn’t help, either. Those who overwork are praised as "team players," while those who set boundaries are seen as less committed. This feedback loop keeps us stuck in cycles of overwork and self-neglect.

Children learn by watching their parents consistently put others first, internalizing these behaviours as the normal and expected way to navigate relationships.

Overcoming the guilt when prioritizing yourself

Guilt often holds us back. We’ve been conditioned to think self-prioritization is selfish, but nothing could be further from the truth. If you’re running on empty, you can’t give your best to anyone.

The concept of selfishness needs a radical reframing. If you’re running on empty, what can you possibly give to others? When you’re well-rested, emotionally balanced, and fulfilled, you have more genuine energy and attention to share with others.

Start with small acts of self-priority. Each successful experience builds evidence that prioritizing yourself doesn’t lead to catastrophe — quite the opposite.

How to put yourself first

Here are two simple steps to put yourself first in under two minutes:

Identify what matters to you

To put yourself first, you have to know what matters to you. 

1. Find a pen and paper, or open a note-taking app.

2. Write down three things you’re grateful for.

3. Spend thirty seconds reflecting on each one. 

In two minutes you can shift your perspective and discover what truly matters to you.